Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
