plz talk dirty to me
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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