So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
