Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
