you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
