Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I think a kid would responsible me up
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
