Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
