what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
