BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
