I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
My vagina is very pro this idea
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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