Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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