If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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