so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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