It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Randomize
