How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
