I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
You are a booty call, not a friend.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Randomize
