i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
