Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
