so explain again why im purple
no
Me too!
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Randomize
