Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
So apparently I’m into choking now
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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