after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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