He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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