i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
