What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I just had sex on a roof
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
