We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
This is my gift to your gina
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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