Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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