O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
