All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
