Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
You're like the curious george of whores
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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