I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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