For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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