Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize