So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
