i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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