im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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