1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
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