yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
