Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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