just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
