Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
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