I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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