Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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