Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
you will always have a special place in my vag
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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