So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
