I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
PANTIES FOUND
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