You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
