i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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