she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
