so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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