That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
