HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
