shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize