So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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