I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
