I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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