If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
