it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Are my feet made of real feet?
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
