I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
