im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
this is an emotional support booty call
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
