Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Dear god my vagina.
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