the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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