just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
