rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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