I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
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