Me. At least after what I've been through.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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