i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
