The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
wow bdsm is so cute
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
